Thursday, January 18, 2018
Babs Page Redux
I wanted to go through this last night but we had so many pages to get to that I figured I'd just post it up here.
So when I was saying keep the camera angles simpler this is what I meant.
I also added panels-- because I feel like the pacing in the original page is too rushed, give us some time as a reader-- give us more elements.
Panel 1- Camera is on our couple as they walk through crowds of other people.
Panel 2- Camera is pulled back, couple continues to walk-- we've got a truck moving behind them, "straights" walking towards them so that the dialogue relates to the scene.
Panel 3- They approach the encampment-- silent panel.
Panel 4- Closeup on our couple as they walk through the camp-- still silent.
Panel 5 - using the panel Babs already had, our couple walking through the camp and the camera is behind them.
Panel 6-- Our couple is now sitting on the ground and doing their drug stuff.