Thursday, January 18, 2018

Babs Page Redux







I wanted to go through this last night but we had so many pages to get to that I figured I'd just post it up here.

So when I was saying keep the camera angles simpler this is what I meant.

I also added panels-- because I feel like the pacing in the original page is too rushed, give us some time as a reader-- give us more elements.

Panel 1- Camera is on our couple as they walk through crowds of other people.

Panel 2- Camera is pulled back, couple continues to walk-- we've got a truck moving behind them, "straights" walking towards them so that the dialogue relates to the scene.

Panel 3- They approach the encampment-- silent panel.

Panel 4- Closeup on our couple as they walk through the camp-- still silent.

Panel 5 - using the panel Babs already had, our couple walking through the camp and the camera is behind them.

Panel 6-- Our couple is now sitting on the ground and doing their drug stuff.