Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Revised Page from Dan H






Dan sent in this revision from yesterday's page.
I get now that those "pipes" in yesterday's page were the inverted bar stools put up on the counter.  I like that idea.  But you have to make sure the reader "gets" what it is you're showing.


Bar stools are a great idea-- it shows that the restaurant is closed.
However, the ones you have up in this pencil version are the bolted to the floor kind, the kind that weigh about 60lbs each so it's very unlikely they'd be put up on the counter.   If you look at them the way you have them drawn they wouldn't stand up if they weren't bolted down, the bases are too narrow.






All right so
1- Get reference for the bar stools.  You want to put in the brace bars at the upper third and bottom third.  If you had those in the page you sent in yesterday I think it would have read more as barstools.  I also like the napkin holder on the counter.

I wouldn't be against the idea of bringing that second and third stool back from the original take either-- you'd just need to make sure you use reference for them so they read right.  I also added floor buffers which most of these things have so the floor doesn't scuff when you move them around.

2- If you don't opt for the bar stool poles coming back, you could consider doing something similar with the pile of dishes (shown here in my example out of perspective just to show what I'm talking about).  Moving that pile closer to us makes it more important in the panel.

3- Lastly, ALWAYS draw the makeup of the figure even if that figure is going to be in shadows to make sure it "looks right".  Yours is just slightly off.  Put the figure design in and it'll look right.

Nice work.