Monday, June 19, 2017
In Progress Page from DAN H
Very clever layout of the first panel-- I interpret as we're looking in to the dish washing area from either the restaurant or the outside-- I'm going to go with outside.
Whatever those pipes are they create an interesting dynamic-- but to prevent distraction I'd clarify it a bit more.
I studied those pipes and barrels I don't know what they are but the blacks are really great. Clarification could come via some signage (High voltage or Keep Out or some other such thing).
Sam in the window at panel 1-- I'd just push him down SLIGHTLY-- maybe to knee level-- that will keep the perspective more in line.
Panel 2 I like your original penciled clock position better- but this is very clever too.
Panel 3-- It should read MERRY XMAS AND GET BACK TO WORK from ANDY'S DINER since that's how I usually send cards to my staff. I'd push the whole composition down a 1/8 of an inch here too.
Panel 4 make sure you get the outside side of the exit door behind him here to help keep us in reference for what we're seeing.
Overall-- really great work-- nice understanding of perspective and great use of blacks << that's almost the hardest part of this.